Big Bruiser Dope Boy

We are super excited to announce a special V Day release of FOGHORN LEGHORN by Big Bruiser Dope Boy. Big Bruiser was recently on Get Lit With Leza, talking about his book & giving a little glimpse into his beautiful dark twisted soul.

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Foreword by Sam Pink

I BELIEVE IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS BOOK, YOU SUCK

You are reading this book because you want new things. You want blood. You want to feel alive. You are trying to feed something. And the Dope Boy has chopped up his heart to hand out, thinking, 'There was too much of it anyway.'

The voice of this book. It has everything I want and yet I really can't explain it. It's hurt shit. A laugh that ends with a turned head and a teary eye. Each poem sings for lost unknowns to come home. It's funny, straightforward, absurd, sad, and, ultimately, true in the way that only art can be. More true than saying B comes after A. As true as handing someone your broken mask and just shrugging.

Say hello to the gay Rodney Dangerfield. Say hello to the Boom Doctor. Say hello to your first real boyfriend. Join me in welcoming this new voice. The Big Bruiser Dope Boy. One of the new wolves. May he forever huff and puff. We will never escape his cartoon.


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BIG BRUISER DOPE BOY GETS LIT

 

I had the pleasure of day drinking with Big Bruiser a few weeks ago on Get Lit With Leza.

Some poetry reading is involved, as well as other awesome stuff. Enjoy!

GAY RODNEY DANGERFIELD

  

I tell ya it's hard going to the movies when you're gay, ya

know? I took my straight 14-year-old nephew, whose

favorite comedian is Amy Schumer, to see her new movie,

I Feel Pretty. I, on the other hand, being gay, had to see I

Feel Pretty Gay.

 

I tell ya it's hard going grocery shopping when you're gay,

ya know? The other day I went to Trader Joe's and

accidentally ended up penetrating two pistachio mochis I'd

squeezed together and forgot weren't butt cheeks.

 

I tell ya I get no respect as a deeply repressed gay man, ya

know? Why, just the other day I was making love to the

superimposed, mentally projected image of my old man on

top of my wife's face and I said, "Say 'good job' when I

cum." S/he told me I should only take pride in my work!

 

I tell ya it's hard getting a driver's license when you're gay,

ya know? Just the other day I was getting mine renewed

and the DMV clerk asked if I was an organ donor. "It's not

the kind of donation where you get to keep it after you pull

it out of his asshole," he added.

 

I tell ya I get no respect as a severely closeted gay man, ya

know? Just the other day I was driving my yellow Nissan

Xterra to buy a cup of gorilla taint flavored fro-yo. This

guy in a way less cool car than mine cut me off. Needless

to say I lost my appetite and had sex with him.

 

I tell ya it's hard having parents when you're gay, ya know?

When I came out to my mom, she had to deal with both the

disappointment of me never having children in a

heterosexual marriage, and even worse, the crushing let

down of knowing I'd never have sex with her again.

 

I tell ya it's hard being a hopelessly closeted gay man

married to a woman with three children, ya know? I want to

tell them the truth, but if I did, it would tear my family

apart, not to mention my asshole.

 

I tell ya it's hard getting a car wash when you're a

tyrannized queer, ya know? It took everything in me to

refuse the "clear coat" I wanted but couldn't afford.

 

I tell ya it's hard eating pizza when you're gay, ya know?

Why, if my memory serves me well, it was just the other

night that I ordered a thin crust sausage and green bell

pepper pizza. I had the worst acid reflux that night. It's hard enough

burning at one end!

 

I tell ya it's hard watching Will & Grace when you're gay,

ya know? It's almost like the characters' homosexuality

being consistently used for punchlines your family laughs

at in their "acceptance" of you makes you feel somehow

even more ashamed and less like an individual.

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Big Bruiser Dope Boy has been writing for ten years. This is his first book. He lives in Colorado. He’s been published in Burningword, Deluge, Fanzine, Fluland, Hobart, New York Tyrant Magazine, Philosophical Idiot, Tragickal, Witch Craft Magazine, and Word Riot. He tweets @bigbruiserdopeb.

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