Marston Hefner
A FAMILY HISTORY
My father took his women his young women outside, he did not take us his children my brother and I to the sports games. My father did not want to talk anymore about any possibility of his children seeking things that were my father’s from the outside. His power and his fame, my father already did not like giving his power and his fame to the young women in his life. My father thought his children wanted what he did not want to give, but we all know this is not what children want a father to give, no it is not the outside children yearn for. My father did not know a father can give his children a secret power in something inside themselves so simple from a sports game between one father and two sons. A father and two sons can come together from something so simple as this and gain a power from a father giving something inside his children a secret power within them just like their father had his secret power within him.
My mother did not want to give. My mother let others give to her what was difficult for her to have. Her strength was in knowing how to tell others what to give, in demanding what others do what was too difficult for her. Her strength was receiving and this is a strength sometimes because others believe that is so. That my mother had the right to receive so and so. My mother did not give anything but to her children. Her children she gave everything.
My father did not give love to anyone but my mother. He was not only quiet but strong in his receiving from others his young women. He never expected anything but everything. He was a man, he never wanted anything that gave to others. He was a man, he never wanted love given to his children. My father only gave love to his wife. It was an honor for his wife to receive, she was with a man who gave nothing but everything to her. This is how my father learned sacrifice. He gave to one thing and always one thing and everything in one thing. His sacrifice was this and he taught his children to sacrifice nothing but this.
Over time his wife my mother did not wish to receive. We are forgetful, a great many people in love do forget the things they receive. We are forgetful. A very many people are forgetful of the many things their husbands and wives give to them. No matter how special the giving it happens. Many times a husband or wife is very kind in giving but the other is forgetting. The forgetting happens with all sorts of people from all walks of life, no matter how important one husband is to his wife, the forgetting happens very often anyways.
Many of the videos I watched with me as a child with my brother as a baby contain my mother looking elsewhere and my father looking at her while my mother looking elsewhere with my father looking at her. My father gave his love for it was his only love and if one has only one love it has to be everything. My mother did not like being given everything, my mother did not want only this everything given to her with so much sacrifice and so she began her forgetting.
There is a great lesson here. There are a many great lessons here but the one lesson I know is one’s power must always be more than one thing. My mother’s only power was her beauty. My mother having only one power started her forgetting. My mother’s only power was a reason for my father’s giving. My mother’s only power started her divorcing.
My father his children his children wondered how to make their father proud of them and full of wonder just the way their mother had made in him, her husband so full of wonder. In a room in his mansion was my father his children wondering how to make their father give everything to them, they asked him in his room, how could they make him full of wonder the way their mother had made in him. My father thought his children wanted money and fame. My father did not know his children wanted loving and awe. His children that was me and my brother, never made their father look at them with the same feeling. It was not the same feeling when he saw his children. It was not a secret feeling kept inside him.
Because the wind was hitting me, my father not giving me, he did not make me cold when he hit inside of me, disappointed me. He did not make me cold. The wind hit inside of me. The wind shook me. I will say it again. My father did not make me cold, did not shake me the way the wind shook inside of me. Did not stop. I am not my father. My life within me I trust the feelings inside me. One more thing, I let the feelings inside me.