Maria Greer
END-OF-TERM EXAM
1. If Train A leaves the station at 8:45, heading due east at seventy-five miles per hour, and Train B leaves the station twenty-eight minutes later, going ninety in the opposite direction, which one will you be on?
2. There’s a man on Train B who wants to kill you. I know this and he knows this and you know this. None of us knows just how or when he’ll do it—
a) poison at midnight
b) car crash at dawn
c) cancer at forty-five
but we know he won’t give up until you’re cold in the ground.
3. You met him a long time ago and you keep going back to him, because he’s promised you death and you kind of admire his honesty. He wears a false ☐ mustache but his teeth are true ☐.
5. The woman (w) standing next to me at the station (s) has the system map (m) tattooed on her forearm (f). She doesn’t ride anymore, unless you count buses (b). Solve for t (train).
6. I thought your train might have gotten here by now, muscling into the station the way my father always did, as though we were waiting on him, as though we would always be happy to see him—but neither you nor I have ever been the muscling type. Maybe that’s our problem. We always wanted to know what our problem is so maybe that’s it. Underline the problem.
7. I’m waiting. Take your time. I’ll just sit here [quickly/quiescently/quietly].
8a. Which of the following describes Train A? (Choose all that apply.)
☐ cheap
☐ rusty
☐ falling apart
☐ will bring you to me
8b. Which of the following describes Train B? (Choose all that apply.)
☐ will take you straight off a cliff
9. I want you to get on Train A, but I don’t want to beg. Write a short persuasive essay arguing in favor of Train A.
10. I lied. Please let me _______.
beg
take you home
drink from your neck
press fingerprints into your skin
pour chalky pastel hearts down your throat
11. Back to the man on Train B. He keeps looking at his watch, which is _________ (adjective), because we all know his train left at _________ (time) and is traveling at exactly the speed it will take to kill _________ (pronoun).
12. Match subject with object:
You are going to him anyway.
I know you are.
We all hate the way you look at him,
that man and his jellyfish smile.
He wants to swallow you whole.
To be honest, darling, so do I.
13. Fix the following sentence:
Its 11:45 and I’m waiting for you’re train to get in, but you’re now coming.
14. Diagram the following sentence:
I think it but I don’t feel it, like when you stub your toe on the baseboard, and there’s a moment when your brain just thinks, Oh, this is going to really hurt in just a second—and then, yes, you’re right, it hurts, way to go, Einstein, you predicted the pain.
15a. Does that make you feel any better?
15b. Does that make you say I told you so?
16. So you told me. You told me you were going to give me pain, and I didn’t _________.
listen believe you care
17. Throw up the candy hearts. Order them sequentially (1-5). Give them back.
__ U R CUTE
__ B MINE
__ I LUV U
__ I MISS U
__ TTFN
Answer key:
1. Train A leaves the station at 8:45
2. heading due east
3. at seventy-five miles per hour.
4. Train B leaves the station twenty-eight minutes later
5. going ninety
6. in the opposite direction, and
7. you’re on it.
8. Stop trying to deny it.
9. You know that man will be the death of you
10. and you don’t care anymore, because
11. it feels safer, because
12. you always liked the taste of poison.
13. I love you more than he does, you know.
14. I wish you’d let me kill you
15. instead.
16. a) false
17. b) true